I'm Still Here
by Patchwork Poltergeist
Summary: (songfic) After becoming the new pharoah, Yami deals with what is now expected of him.


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh nor do I own the song "I'm Still Here". And I'm still a bit new to song-fics, so go easy on my kay? Now sit back and enjoy the fic.

Sunset. The air was filled with the sounds of the coming dusk. The soft melody of the nightly hymns drifted in Yami's ears as he walked along the banks of the Nile in deep thought on his way to the temple of Thoth before it closed for the night. After all thought was what was needed this night and what better shrine to visit than one to visit than the one to the god of wisdom? 

__

I am a question to the world  
Not an answer to be heard  


Pharaoh. He had gone from prince Yami to King Yami-Yugioh in less than a week and already he felt as if he had already led Egypt into the jaws of chaos. His father had succumbed to death not too long ago and now that the long period of mourning was over, the state of Egypt was to be decided. It seemed as though as soon as his last breath was taken, the priests whom the royal family had trusted had turned on them and viewed him as whelp. Not worthy to command The Gift of the Nile. The Shadow Games had grown out of control threatening to plunge the country into a fit of chaos. The people, now _his _people were turning to him for help, as if he could magically snap his fingers and make it all disappear. The answer to all their problems

Or a moment that's held in your arms

Yami turned his head for a moment to gaze at the scene before him. Small children rushing to be home with their mothers scolding them. And while the young ones were being herded in, others were just coming out, most of them young couples out to romance in the soft moonlight. He paused and gazed at them longingly. He envied them, how glorious it must be to not deal with all this, to have only the moment of the here and now. To have the only reality be yourself and the person beside you and one moment held in their arms seems to last a thousand years. True, he had his young wife Tetisheri, but that was a forced marriage and though he cared for her deeply, he could tell was not the same as the love he was witnessing before him.

__

And what do you think you'd ever say  
I won't listen anyway  
You don't know me  
And I'll never be what you want  
Me to be  


He sighed as he strolled through the sand. Forced marriages, forced responsibilities, and now forced to defend and decide the fate of Egypt. While it was true the high priest Setto wasn't trying to force him out of power, no priest in his right mind would dare do that, but they were trying to force him into accepting the rule of the shadow games. A request that was beyond the madness of Set. He shut his eyes tightly _I've never been able to really be what I want to be. Father wanted me to be a proud King of Egypt like he, and his father before him, and so forth. Now that I actually _am _king, it's only gotten harder. The citizens expect me to be some kind of hero that would fly from the heavens and suddenly makes everything the way it was meant to be. And now Setto and his followers were attempting to change my very way of life. Egypt's way of life. _Why did everyone expect so much of him? _I am only one person. I can't be everything._

__

And what  
Do you think you'd understand  
I'm boy, no, I'm a man  
You can't take me  
And throw me away  
And how can you learn what's never shown?  
Yeah, you stand here all alone.  
They don't know me 'cause I'm not here.  


"What's happened to me?" he said aloud. "Who am I trying to be? Am I myself..or am I changing into someone else? I knew a moment ago…but I've forgotten. I'm only 15. I'm still only a child, as the high priest seems to think. But I'm not. Not anymore." Random bits of sand were blown aside as Yami's pace quickened to the temple. Violet orbs narrowed into dangerous slits_. I won't allow it. I will **not **stand by, and let myself be tossed aside like a worthless dirt rag. I am Yami. And I am now King of Egypt.. But I am still as I always was. _ He sighed _They just don't understand. No one does._

And I want a moment to be real,  
Wanna touch things I don't feel,  
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.  
And how can the world want me to change,  
They're the ones that stay the same.  
The don't know me,  
'Cause I'm not here.  


Really all he wanted was a chance, just one chance to live the way he wanted to. To not be burdened my constant rules and the expectations of what he was envisioned to be, to be judged by not _what _he was, but _who _he was. But that chance would not come for him. And now was not the time to dwell on what could have been, but to focus on the now. 

A small look of relief crossed Yami's face as he entered the temple of Thoth. It hadn't closed, at least he had that to look forward to. As the new pharaoh approached the main shrine, he could hear the familiar sound of a voice. Seto's voice. He paused for a moment and stared at the priest, talking with one of his followers by the lotus pool, his oily voice bathed with lies. "All the talk to begin change. Hypocrites" he scoffed "He and all the rest of them haven't changed one bit from the day I first met them. As far as they're concerned, I don't even exist for the scorning"

__

And you see the things they never see  
All you wanted, I could be  
_Now you know me, and I'm not afraid_

A tri-colored head met the cold stone floor as Yami kneeled before the great ibis-headed deity, then sat on his knees staring into the statue's emotionless onyx eyes. He felt somewhat comforted. "You know what I want. You know who I am. I think…I think you may be the only one that sees me only as myself, and nothing else. And that is why I come to you Thoth, keeper of wisdom, wisest of all the gods, to give me guidance. I can feel your presence, and I know I can carry out the faith I know you have in me. I…just wish I knew how to do that. I'll admit I was a bit frightened to do so before" he gulped "But not I am not. And I'm ready" 

  
_And I wanna tell you who I am  
Can you help me be a man?  
They can't break me  
As long as I know who I am_  


Then he was silent and closed his eyes, listening to the soft sounds of the twilight. A frog croaked and splashed into a pool, a child laughing in the far distance, and the sound of the wind blowing calmly through the reeds, as well the maroon portion of his hair. This was ma'at. As it was meant to be. But it could not be without a pharaoh to uphold it. And that had to be him and no one else. He opened his eyes once more, and by squinting he could see the silhouette of Setto reflected in Thoth's black eyes. With him, guiding The Gift of the Nile, all of Egypt would surely plunge into a realm of darkness and chaos. _And I alone am the one that stands in his way. _The new pharaoh stood and brushed the dust off his kilt and made his way out of the shrine. He'd gotten his answer. 

__

And I want a moment to be real,  
Wanna touch things I don't feel,  
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.  
And how can the world want me to change,  
They're the ones that stay the same.  
The don't know me,  
'Cause I'm not here.

He exhaled, feeling newly refreshed and looked out at the world before him. He faced a world expecting answerers of him that he did not have. A place that demanded chance and yet refused to turn from it's old ways. And it didn't seem to bother him as much now. 

They can't tell me who to be,  
'Cause I'm not what they see.  
And the world is still sleepin',  
While I keep on dreamin' for me.  
And they'll want to just whispers,  
And lies that I'll never believe.

I am now the morning and evening star and will not give up so easily. They may not know who I am, but I will show_ them that I am pharaoh and I am worthy of that name. Let them expect the world of me, I'll deliver when I'm ready. _He was not what the citizens envisioned him to be; an invincible being of might and power. He was not what Setto and his followers envisioned him to be. He was not a weakling, he was not a god. King Yami was himself. "And that is all I need." 

  


  



End file.
